Criticism doesn’t usually feel good. It’s not something that most people look forward to or want to hear on a regular basis. However, it does make us all better and deserves our attention. While constructive criticism can be uncomfortable or painful, it is extremely necessary. So, how do we receive such criticism and work through the uncomfortable aspects? Here are 7 best practices for receiving constructive criticism:
1. Realize It Makes You Better
Criticism, while painful, is helpful to our growth. When someone gives you feedback, they invest something in you that others aren’t willing to. Understand that it costs them something to share it just as much as it hurts you to hear it. So, criticism is not always bad and can be a great ally in our lives. The first step to receiving it well is recognizing that it makes you better.
Not everyone loves working out and eating healthy, but many do it because they recognize the benefits. In the same way, constructive criticism isn’t necessarily fun or easy, but it has major benefits. People can help point out your blind spots or mistakes in a way that will help you grow and become a better version of yourself.
2. Learn to Like It
Once you realize the benefits of feedback, you can learn to like it. This may sound a little crazy. “Why would I want to learn to like criticism?” Criticism is not a reflection of who you are, but it is more or less someone else’s perspective offered to enhance yours. What’s not to like about that? If you always had a blurry view with your physical eyes, you’d want glasses to clear up your vision, right? Constructive criticism can act as a corrective lens to help us see what we don’t see. That’s something worth learning to enjoy!
Exercise has some pain to it, but you can become addicted to the benefits. Criticism doesn’t have to be any different. It is not your enemy, but it is your friend. If you can learn to like it and enjoy the pain of growth, you will continue to grow and develop in amazing ways.
3. Ask for It Often
Ask people for help and feedback. If you get into the habit of asking often, you will not be caught off guard. It will be built into the rhythm of your life. Give people the space to speak into your life and work as often as possible. This may initially feel uncomfortable, but it will set you up for long-term success!
Don’t ask just anyone for feedback, but ask people who can give you real constructive criticism. You don’t want to ask people who are passive or just say yes all the time. You want to talk with people who can help stretch you and push you along in your growth. The more you ask, the better you’ll become at receiving their constructive criticism
4. Don’t Take It Personally
Remember the motive behind constructive criticism. Someone is offering you feedback because they care and want to help. This isn’t something to get upset over and take personally, but it is something worth embracing. If you take things personally, what is meant to help make you better will instead tear you down.
Even if the person giving the criticism does have bad intentions, you can still grow from it. Understand that someone’s criticism of you does not reflect who you are. It might be a truthful reflection of something you did, but it isn’t who you are. Remember not to take the words man uses as your identity, If you identity yourself as anything negative, it directly contradicts the way the Lord views you.
5. Apply and Discard
Not every piece of constructive criticism is accurate, right, or actually helpful. When people offer it, remember that they only bring one perspective. Learn how to discern what to apply to your life and what to discard. The more you receive constructive criticism, the more you’ll learn to decipher what is good and what is unhealthy.
James 1:5 (NLT), “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” Ask God to give you wisdom as you are receiving constructive criticism. He will give you the wisdom to discern what you need to apply and what you can discard. While others may want to help with feedback, God cares more about you and your growth. He will never let you down. Ask him for wisdom, and He will give it!
6. Don’t Get Defensive
The opinions of others can be hard to hear. They may see things in us that we don’t see. That’s why it’s so important to listen without getting defensive. Just sit and listen. You don’t have to apply everything someone says to your life or work, but you may miss some helpful wisdom if you’re only listening to defend and respond. Receiving constructive criticism is a skill that has to be practiced, and listening without getting defensive is the most important part of that practice. Even people who you don’t particularly like or enjoy talking to can provide you with some really helpful feedback.
7. Don’t Make People Pay
When someone provides criticism, it can be so hard to receive. Many of us then make the other person pay for what they made us feel, and everyone gets hurt. We get angry and argumentative and say hurtful things we don’t mean. Instead of making other people pay, however, we should learn to pay for constructive criticism. Professional athletes hire coaches to give them feedback. They are willing to pay the price for good, constructive criticism.
So, the next time someone offers you constructive criticism, resist the urge to make them pay. Don’t make it painful for them; instead, embrace the fact that they cared enough to help you. Perhaps they may want you to succeed.
Open Your Heart and Mind
Criticism is always hard to hear, but it provides us with so many benefits as people, leaders, workers, friends, etc. As the people in your life offer you constructive criticism, try these 7 best practices for receiving it and see how it changes your life. You grow when you can open your heart and mind to listen to others and apply it to your own life. While the person offering the criticism may have even shared it with harmful intentions, you can learn and grow from the worst of opportunities as well.
As you commit to learning and growing, realize that feedback and constructive criticism are your friends, not your enemies. Those perspectives from others can give you insight on things that you otherwise wouldn’t see. Welcome it, open your mind, guard your heart, and receive the criticism in a way that will help stretch you, not break you!
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some common questions Christian job seekers might ask:
1. How can I differentiate between helpful and unhelpful criticism?
Learn to discern by considering the intent, context, and source of the feedback. Ask for wisdom to know what to apply and what to discard.
2. How can I avoid becoming defensive when receiving criticism?
Practice active listening and remember that criticism is intended for growth, not personal attack.
3. What should I do after receiving criticism?
Reflect on the feedback, determine actionable steps, and apply changes to improve.
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