Constructive criticism – do you twitch a little when hearing that phrase? Whether it’s a staff member, volunteer, or someone else you’re leading, faith-based leaders struggle with giving constructive criticism.
We’ve somehow convinced ourselves that it’s not kind and therefore not Christ-like or we view it as unnecessary conflict. However, giving someone feedback is not just a characteristic of a good leader, but a Godly one … Throughout Scripture, we can see that even God had hard conversations with His people. You can see it in stories like Job or reading about Jesus with his disciples. Often, as leaders, we also need to be willing to talk about the hard things, because this kind of honesty elevates our teams.
Candor is kind. Honesty is honoring. Feedback is your friend.
Best Practices for Giving Constructive Criticism
Here are 9 best practices for giving constructive criticism:
Best Practice #1: Build Good Relationships and Rapport with Your Team
It’s hard to give feedback when your team doesn’t know you, feel you don’t know them, and don’t know that you care. Take the time to get to know your team members and have as many positive interactions as possible. This makes giving feedback easier and more effective because they’ll know that you care about them as an individual and are trying to help. Leaders who criticize without caring personally are ineffective.
Best Practice #2: Encourage More than You Criticize
This isn’t an exact science, but you should give at least 5 compliments and encouragement for every piece of constructive criticism you give. Think of it like a bank account. Every time you provide positive recognition it is a deposit in their bank account. Every time you give feedback or have a hard conversation, you are withdrawing from that bank account. Withdrawals are always more costly than deposits. If you have more withdrawals than deposits, you end up in the negative and that’s where things get shaky.
Best Practice #3: Create a Culture of Feedback
Feedback is not most effective from the top down. It’s actually most impactful when there is a culture of 360-degree feedback. This shouldn’t be something that’s offered every now and then. It should be a part of your organization daily. Encourage it. Talk about it. Model it. This leads to the next point…
Best Practice #4: Model Constructive Criticism by Asking for It
Be an example for your team and set the standard. Ask for constructive criticism. How did that meeting go? What can I do better? Where do you see areas for improvement in my leadership and management? How do you experience me as a leader?
Make room for these conversations and listen. Don’t get defensive. Just listen. It may be painful or hard to hear, but if you receive it graciously, you’re showing your team how to receive it when you give them feedback.
Think about it this way: Professional athletes will pay multiple coaches to tell them what they are doing wrong and how they can be better. Instead, so many of us make others pay for giving us constructive criticism. Are you looking for personal feedback as a leader? It might be something worth trying!
Best Practice #5: Be Gracious
Criticism can be extremely hard to hear, so be kind as you share it. The last thing you want to do is communicate it in frustration. This will cause people’s fight-or-flight instinct to kick in, which makes the conversation almost useless. Realize that they will remember how they felt when receiving the feedback. If they experience gentleness and love, it will stick out in a positive way. Keep it short and to the point, and be kind.
Best Practice #6: The “Sandwich” Method
You may already know this one, but it’s a great reminder. With the sandwich method, start by saying one or two positive things they are doing well. Don’t be afraid to recognize it and be specific. Then, you can say something like “I do see an area of improvement” or “I’ve noticed some things that are out of character from who you really are”. Having a qualifying statement helps ease the blow by reassuring that you believe in them, care about them, and that you want to see them grow and succeed. After offering the criticism, reaffirm how much you believe in them and the good things you see in them.
Best Practice #7: Be Crystal Clear
Make sure they know without a doubt what it is you are trying to help them see. The more simple and clear you can make it, the more likely they are to understand it. Clarity doesn’t leave any room for the imagination after the conversation is over. It helps define things in a digestible way.
Best Practice #8: Set Expectations
Make sure they know the specific outcome or change you are looking for.
Is it behavior? An attitude? Do they need to make things right with another employee? Is it a bad habit they need to adjust?
They need to leave the conversation knowing exactly what to do to address what you showed them. Don’t just show them, but give them resources that will help as well. It could be a book, an article, or setting up a conversation with an expert in that specific area. For them to be successful, they should have the resources and support needed to make the adjustments.
Best Practice #9: Give Them Time and Space to Make the Adjustment
A lot of leaders want change to happen immediately and get frustrated when things take longer. Give your team the time and space to make the change.
Constructive criticism can leave people feeling exposed, embarrassed, or ashamed. Give them space to process. The change may not happen overnight. It may take a few days or a few weeks. In that time, check in with them to see how they’re doing and make sure they’re ok.
Constructive Criticism Is a Conversation
Leadership is no easy task and constructive criticism is definitely an extremely challenging aspect. As leaders, we must provide feedback so those around us can grow. In doing so, remember to receive feedback well too. This doesn’t have to be hard, awkward or uncomfortable.
Criticism can be a gift to the recipient, but only if given in the right way. Put some or all of these best practices for giving constructive criticism to the test, and watch how they change the experience you have with others and others with you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some common questions Christian employers might ask:
1. How can constructive criticism be adapted for remote teams?
Constructive criticism in remote settings may require more intentionality. Use video calls to maintain connection, clarify points with follow-up messages, and ensure clarity, as non-verbal cues are often missed in digital communication.
2. How should leaders address defensive responses to feedback?
If a team member reacts defensively, leaders can reassure them that the feedback aims to support their growth. Reframing the conversation with questions like, “How do you feel about this feedback?” can also encourage openness.
3. What are effective ways to give constructive feedback across different cultural backgrounds?
Understanding cultural perspectives on feedback can make conversations more effective. In some cultures, indirect feedback is preferred, while in others, directness is valued. Tailoring your approach accordingly shows respect and enhances receptivity.
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